January 20, 2012 by Todd Neva
Imagine a prayer wire-tap. You are listening to both sides of the conversations between me and God, though I am not able to hear Him…
Me: God, I was just diagnosed with ALS. Please heal me, but if not, sell this house. This house won’t work when I am in a chair.
God: I feel bad for you, kid, but I’ve got bigger plans for you. It’s not time to sell, but you’re going to do what you want to do, so why don’t you list it high. (wink, wink)
Me: God, please help me work through December 2011 so that I can get to 70% disability. If I leave any sooner, the pre-existing condition clause limits me to 60% of my pay.
God: I’ve got you covered, my child.
Me: And please sell our house! How low must we go to sell it? We keep bringing the price down, but no takers.
God: I will sell it. Good job being persistent in prayer, but remember, also, not to worry.
Me: Okay, God. The house has been on the market for a year and a half, why hasn’t it sold? By the way, thank you for the slow progression.
God: It’s not time to sell, you thickheaded man of little faith. And you’re welcome.
Me: God, we are taking the house off the market till spring. It won’t sell this winter, but we’ll put a For Sale by Owner (FSBO) sign in the front yard for goofs.
God: Todd, Todd, Todd. I love you so much. Why do you give up on me? By the way, I put people in your life to help you. Let them help.
Me: God, thank you for Vicky and her free services to stage our house. Thank you for Theresa, Julie, Felix, Shawn, Paul, John, Wayne and everybody else who helped freshen up the house. Thanks for all the people who blessed us with the benefit. Now just help us get ready for the showing on Friday. I did not see that coming.
God: It’s nothing. Seriously, for me, it was easy schmeasy. I spoke the world into existence, after all.
Me: God, thank you for giving me the strength to work through the end of the year. And thank you for that December buyer who came back for a second showing and put in an offer to purchase. Help this negotiation to go through. The price is lower than we ever wanted to sell, but after a year and a half on the market, I am feeling pretty good about it selling even at this price. As a FSBO, with no agent commissions, and the proceeds from the benefit, we will be okay.
God: No problem, kid. The negotiations will go through just fine. By the way, look out your front window. Notice that I blew your FSBO sign down in the storm last night. You won’t need that any longer.
A day later:
Me: Thank you, God. I knew it would all work out in your timing. I made it to the end of the year at work, I’m eligible for 70% disability, we had the convenience of being able to stay in our beautiful house, and I was able to be here for Jack Berry to help him with the ramp and to raise awareness for his other needs as he, too, faces ALS.
God: I told you I had bigger plans for you. And you knew it would work in my timing? You’ve got a selective memory, kid, but I love ya. Call me any time.